Body Positivity

I am so HUGE on body positivity and why in 2011 I wanted to get into modeling. I wanted to prove not only to my own broken self, but others like myself that anything was possible, even modeling. You didn't have to have some perfect body type to do so!!

Soon after starting I got pregnant and my priorities changed. My daughters both know and will ALWAYS know beauty doesn't know size. It doesn't have some certain look to it. We are all beautiful. Colors are not gender specific and nor are specific clothing. If a man wants or chooses to wear a dress there's nothing wrong or out of the ordinary about that. We are all individually unique!! Beauty standards are COMPLETE TRASH!!!

At the end of 2017 I made the decision to return to modeling. I had so many waiting for my return and so many projects and shoots already booked. Modeling is a lot of work! A lot of weeding through the not so real photographers to the perves to the flakes, etc. Again to prove you don't need that perfect body! My biggest goal was to become a published model. I worked my butt off for it!! I stood out, I had a different look, and I wasn't about to change that to fit some false beauty standard. If I was going to be successful it was because of who I was naturally!

Early 2018 is also when I started having neurological symotoms a lot like MS. Just as fast as I started modeling I retired again. Life never was the same.

I've always had medical issues since a child. But because doctors could never find a cause I just always thought I was fine or it was normal. In my 20's I was always in the ER for stomach pain, vomiting, constant body pain, dizziness, various things that left no answers. I never fought to know more. I should have though. My ex at the time called me a hypochondriac and said it was all in my head. I must've been fine or crazy!!

Since life took a turn I realized how much I truly took for granted. Even just basic things like walking or even opening a bottle of Tylenol. We always think something can't happen or won't happen to us. Fact is life isn't guaranteed and can change in a second!

I spent so much of my time worrying about a damn number that is so irrelevant!! It's about self love and how you feel. Its about getting up, and doing what feels best for you. I'm not saying don't make good choices or workout or exercise, etc... if you can do those things, do them. But don't focus your energy on some stupid number on a scale!!

Don't focus your time and energy on hopefully one day fitting into old clothes or looking like you once did years ago. Truth is its false hope. Stop giving yourself these false goals to work towards that will just leave you unmotivated and feeling defeated!! As we age so do our bodies. They change to accommodate us, so stop trying to look like your teenage self again or fit into clothes your 20 year old self wore. Work to just be a healthier version of you, NOW. Thats it! Build lean muscle, aim to be stronger, don't fear those weights, and just work at achieving a better, healthier you. That number, is stupid, it's not ever going to amount to any part of your happiness. Eat to fuel your body. Stop trying all these crazy fad diets that are making you go crazy. Key is moderation!

You are beautiful regardless of what any number says! That number will never dictate your self worth or overall health! Stop torchuring yourself.

Loving our bodies is one of the hardest most rewarding things you'll ever do but its so worth it!! It doesn't matter what your goal is or if you even have one. Just love yourself, because you deserve to be loved, because YOU are enough!