Navigating the Early School Years: Facing Speech Challenges

July 16, 2024

Hey Friend,

I hope this finds you well. So in my last letter I was talking about speech therapy and my difficulties as a child with continuing meltdowns. By second grade I was struggling. I didn’t understand a lot of what was going on in class. Reading and comprehending was a nightmare, but also information that was told to me. I couldn’t ask questions because it was difficult to get out what I wanted or needed to. I wasn’t a verbal communicator either. I talked to my family, and friends. I don’t remember saying a lot to my friends though. I would shut down, not saying anything at all. I would have adults say or ask me something, and I’d stare at the floor or their shoes, and I’d tell myself that because too much time passed it wasn’t worth answering. A lot of times, what I thought of saying, wouldn’t come out the same way either. Saying nothing was better to me.

I was prescribed Ritalin in second grade. It was done in a way that my parents would know if the medication was helping or not. I was given one pill being the real one and one which was a placebo. My teachers would come back saying I was doing better in school. I remember the pills being taken with ice cream. What better way to take medication, right? My favorite was sherbet. Swallowing pills has never been something I enjoy. So, anything to get my seven-year-old self to take the meds. I continued to struggle through my second and third year in school. Third grade was my favorite year. I had such an enthusiastic, and fun teacher. She made everyday fun and exciting.

For fourth grade I switched to public school. This way I could get more individualized help. A lot of people didn’t understand the difficulties I had. I spent a lot of time taking tests, and being seen by professionals. I was still in speech therapy, and that continued into my teen years. I remember having to take tests from a young age, being evaluated. My journey through the medical world started young. My parents fought hard to get answers, and the best help possible. I was incredibly smart, but I had an extremely hard time communicating. I had meltdowns, and shut down. By fourth grade I knew I wasn’t like the rest of my peers.

Fifth grade I was pulled out of classes to work with another teacher who helped me with math and reading. I wanted to be like the other kids, especially the cool ones. I’d ask my mom to buy the same shoes the other kids wore. I was doing anything to fit in, and be cool too. I was teased a lot, or kids would make sly comments. I never knew it was that until much later. I remember being on the playground a lone a lot. In fourth grade there was a student who had an aid with her. She did things others would find not socially acceptable, but I would spend my recesses with her and her aid. To me she wasn’t all that different, she just needed someone to understand her and see her as equal.

I’ve always been observant, watching the world around me, watching people and how they behave. Watching how people treat others. I’ve always been super empathetic. I was nice to others even if they weren’t nice to me. Looking back, I got walked over a lot. Since I didn’t pick up on the cruelty a lot, I was probably the butt of a lot of jokes. I had friends, but I had friends who understand me and didn’t mind my differences. Some were even like me so playing and being able to jump from one activity to the next without a lot of talking. I loved acting out scenes from Disney movies or acting like I was them. I had a friend who as we watched Lion King we would be the lions and crawl a long the back of the couch as we sang to the songs.

Music was a big part of my life. I started playing the violin pretty young. I enjoyed it for the most part. While I didn’t talk a lot, I did sing. I remember singing and repeating the same lyric a lot or repeating the same song. I loved to draw, I was also very active. I loved to be outside playing, always finding something to do. I’d ride my bike around our neighborhood a lot. I was happiest outside, you would have never had to ask me to go outside, because I was likely already there. From sunup to sundown, you could find me in the dirt.

I’m going to end this here. Next up is middle school. No matter the obstacle, you can overcome it.

Stay Well,

Rebecca

Reminder, the good you put into the world today, can be the change we see tomorrow